NEW POWER MASCULINITY SESSION FOCUS
In the Tarot, we find so many aspects of developing Masculinity on the outside and the inside of ourselves.
The inner authority, containment and healthy glow-pride of an Emperor in his kingdom whose leadership style is a chanelling of the needs of his subjects. “I AM.”
The Magician, The Chariot, and Innocent Fool, wandering pathways of life, career and creative endeavours in trial and error. “I CAN.”
The inner knowing and bridges to higher clarity of consciousness initiated by The Pope and The Hermit.
The new day : Sunrise-clear morning focus, courageous and pragmatic decision making, effortless life energy, a power masculinity in producing results as The Sun.
I KNOW ~ I TRUST ~ I HAVE FAITH ~ I LEAD
These are only some of the gifts of the power of Masculinity.
WHY A SPECIAL FOCUS FOR [SELF-IDENTIFYING] MASCULINITY?
I talk alot about intersectionality, systems and power dynamics and emotions!
Naturally the word Intersectionality leads itself to be holding spaces for Feminine and Non Binary energy, which I love.
But it occured to me to make sure I include a special invitation to develop the strong aspects of our Masculinity within this work too.
Conversations about intersectional rights and the support of femininity, is not excluding of the fact that (self identifying) masculinity and especially cis masculinity also have inner realities which have been affected by authority systems of patriarchy and colonialism.
The issue is about recognition of all realities as true in their own right and about a new evolution of power within us.
The word “Power” under Patriachy has a different meaning to the one that the word “Power” has with core shamanic work and “empowerment” work and when we talk about personal power and maturity and new leadership.
Witnessing the experiences of Each Other:
Within this age it is important for allies of the culturally intersectionalised to be able to say “I recognise your pain exists. It is valid. Your experience is valid. I’m sorry for your pain.” and to continue to remain open to listen to one another’s experinces, without illegitemising anyone’s point of view.
But why is this so hard for us [all] in certain moments? What’s blocking us?
Why is it so hard to acknowledge another’s reality, if we cannot relate to their personal experience?
Do we label them as over-sensitive, demanding, crazy, needy, instead of being able to listen?
Who are we expecting or asking to care for us, to ‘mother’ us?
Have we actually consciously asked these poeople in our lives to hold this caring role for us?
What is our relationship to “CARE” ?
How do we care for ourselves?
Do we allocate time to care for ourselves?
This is a multi layered relational dynamic about trusting the self governing authority of others, relinquishing the pressure of ideal / control and healing our own inner-traumatised-victims.
There is nothing wrong with recognising that we are feeling victimised.
We are only able to move past that inner victim, if we acknowledge them and are able to hold that space within us.
It’s like a trick.
As soon as we acknowlegde that we ourselves are victims and we have a right to feel how we feel, we automatically are able to hold more space for the victimisation of others.
ie: “I have been hurt. It is ok for me to care for myself right now”
This is a pathway to empowered masculinity ...
Hold your hurts.
DOUBLE ENERGIES WITHIN ALL - ANIMA / ANIMUS :
Masculine-identifying persona’s hold within, feminine energy.
And feminine-identifying persona’s hold within, masculine energy.
Both flavours of energy are present within every being. Human and more-than-human.
When we are in non-binaryism, we are fluid, but also hold both and all variations of the spectrum [greys] within us.
Meeting these opposites of energy within, is descibed through shamanic integration, alchemy of the psyche, chinese medicine practices, and Jungian psychoanalysis as a part of meeting and reuniting with the soul.
It’s all in the process.
For humans who identify as male, Jung called this meeting and healing the relationship with the Anima.
For female identifying, “Animus”. Gender fluid humans are speacial and often have a unique mix of both.
From a shamanic perspective to be gender-fluid is to be highly evolved / gatekeepers of new world consciousness.
How we choose to identify on the outside, is a ‘performance’ of our aliveness.
This gender expression is totally seperate to our personal preference of sexuality.
They are seperate aspects of our being and are related with external layers of our psyche.
EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION :
In “Clean Power” and “Emotion as Power” I went into a bit of description about how emotion is always a clarification of raw, base life force energy and power.
If these are not expressed consciously, they will be expressed unconsciously.
When emotion is expressed unconsciously it has damaging flow on effects.
So ideally becoming conscious about the emotional flow within us is important to understanding where they come and how to manage them so they assist the highest benefit for all in our lives.
Masculinity and emotional expression? Do these go together in our culture? You tell me!
Many of us have been taught not to express emotions, to not seek out healing for fear of looking weak or for fear of exposing someone elses fragile grasp on being ‘good’.
Masculinity equally suffers the societal experience of the disempowered mother, the effect of the patriachy. The men around are carrying as much fear guilt and shame towards and for the disempowered nature of the female within them as femaly identying humans are.
Often young boys are expected subconsciously to stoically ‘deal’ with and ‘control’ situations they were unequipped for.
All humans have a need to have their emotional realities witnessed and supported!
SUBTLE FEMININITY LOCKED IN THE DARK SHADOW:
If the men around us are not able to express the Anima - the inner feminine - she can get neglected and start to be constellated with The Dark Shadow of the individual.
An unsupported Inner-Anima can easily turn into a demoness!
What that means: is the feminity within male identifying people is still there, but she is banished to the unconscious ‘auto-response’ area of the psyche, where she expresses the dark side of the feminine and projects it out into the world - [ie: evil stepmother.]
Projected out into the world, means that in our lives we easily see other people as ‘evil stepmother’, ‘demanding mother’, or other negative connotations of the divine feminine, instead owning that power.
Owning that power, means being aware of our projections and healing the wounded nature of these archetypes from within. Because we do not have the capacity to change other people, so we work on ourselves.
[ which might mean we end up walking away from certain relationships, or certain people who refuse to do their inner work in this lifetime ]
An Anima sneaking out the sidedoor of the shadow for a Male could be:
- gossipy, making snide remarks, be passive-agressive, instead of being able to face issues and feelings upfront.
[This is based on the work of Psychoanalyst Marie Louise Von Franz]
INNER AUTHORITY AND INNER INTUITION - BEING ALLOWED TO “NOT TO KNOW” :
Our idea of what masculinity actually is, is also cloaked in darkness, and held in The Dark Shadow of the collective. [There’s that loaded label “Toxic Masculinity”]
Masculinity, taught and expected to be pillars of authority as ‘fixed’ is not mutable ie: human.
Nothing is really “fixed” or rigid in our experience. The harder rules were enforced upon us as children, the more of a barrier we might have with that one. The only constant for us here is mutability and change.
To say “I do not know”, “I don’t know how I feel” or “I feel angry and upset” for many, has not been an option in early life and can become a part of our programming.
Here we also meet the wounded societal experience of the relationship with our Father lines - because for many of us, our fathers were not allowed to express emotions of hold aprocessual authority [evolving and sensitive], either. Some of us did not have a present or kind Father figure in our lives.
In a society like that, when Men show indecision or weakness or naivete they can suddenly fall off an authority pedestals, which are collectively held by community.
Falling off “the authority pedestal” means to also suffer the sudden change of falling projections - in one moment to be celebrated, the next moment damned - to let people down. With trauma this can be tied with survival level core responses. We can feel like we or others will die if we let them down.
As we do the healing work, and loosen the pressure on these systems, holding the shifting projections from society does take strength. For many of us we need to rearrange our psyche and access soul-level information in order to be stong enough to weather that storm, long enough to transform it.
We are not responsible for what society or family groups project onto us - But we ARE an energetic or vibrational “match” to what is coming to us in our lives. It’s coming to us for a reason...
Will you meet it with open curiosiy?
OUR CURRENT AGE,
DEALING WITH ANGER,
NEW SHADOWS COMING TO LIGHT :
In the present moment we are all awakening into “the dark news” of our age - that we must overthrow systems we are in - and this can give us the illusion that we need to polarise ourselves deeply into having to choose between whose right and who is wrong. That’s illusion.
Ultimately - there is no choice needed!
The resurgence and opening of the wounded witch - the wounded divine feminine, the forgotten and bypassed intuition - is not gender specific. It’s a human issue. Everybody has an intuitional body. Every human has a wounded inner child that needed an empowered and culturally respected mother.
The difficulty comes in, when we hit into our identities - so much of our identites are formed through these narratives of polarisation.
The point is to be able to be flexible with the layers of identity.
We can allow the experiences of all to be valid, irrespective of our own experience and irrespective of who we think we are.
We only need to anchor in the power of our inner stability, flexible mindset and curiosity.
What that takes is to heal the inner parts of us that have been victimised.
And find our own tools to build enough compassionate power to be able to witness the pain of others without it unconsciously triggering us.
TRUE STRENGTH IS ABOUT HEALING ONESELF:
We cannot change others.
The strongest choice is to heal ourselves.
It takes a lot of humility to step forward and say “I need support” or “I want support” or “I AM supported”.
Many times we have step over big piles of shame and pride to choose to heal - That’s why actually doing it is an expression of super-inner-strength.
As soon as we accept and choose healing, and make that move - there is a lot of compassionate power coming to you.
That’s when radical transformation can happen.
- It’s your birthright to feel good and have joy -
SHADOW WORK AND THE “you need to work!” IMPERATIVE:
I feel like our current model of “responsibility” for understanding how to deal with privilege is a lot of pressure for Men, coming across as a “you need to work!” imperative.
The concept of shadow work is not one that means beating oursleves down...
The concept of shadow work is the active passage to enquire into our gaze and understand that our gaze is layered in us feeling victimised.
Idealising “hard work” is part of the mindest we are leaving behind on the path to “being enough” just as we are.
We are rather shifting “value systems” - we go into a place to highly value Self Mothering, Self Fathering and Care, self responsibility, as valuable labour.
ALLIES - START WITH RECEIVING ULTIMATE SUPPORT:
To be an ally to all creatures, takes healing and expressing all of the places where we feel we have been victimised in the past. Self forgiveness and forgivness and release of all wounded aspects.
The men of our age are allies and humanitarians - through and through.
Smart and sensitive and caring.
If you are considering starting out in processes of healing - feel free to email me.
The work we do is 100% confidential.
These kind of sessions boost your compassionate power as an ALLY TO ALL.
︎ Heal our inner wounds - heal the world. ︎
Walking onwards with you +++
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