COMPLEXITY OF THE
AWARENESS OF IMBALANCED EMPATHIC WITNESS CORDS
#allyship #systemicshadowwork #receptivityrights #BiPoC #energeticcords #cordcutting #reroute #yinmagic #ancestralmagic
PLEASE NOTE : THIS ARTICLE NEEDS EDITING
IT IS IN A STREAM OF CONSICIOUSNESS- PROCESSUAL STATE
NON-PATHLOGIST GAZE IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF INEQUALITY RAGE
It is very confusing to be able to really relate with the question of :
if our world is out of balance or not, and what to do about that.
Especially if we are discussing the Spiritual Body through a non-pathologist gaze.
A non-pathologist gaze is one that ackowledges the body-pysche’s own balancing system, we see eachother as whole, not ‘broken’ or ‘a project to be fixed’ based on a particular flavour of gaze, and an outdated/patriachial perspective of ‘normal’.
The (IN)EQUALITY COMPLEX is in collective psyche, and is very alive and active through this era. It is one of the complexes at the core of what is driving our collective evolution.
Complexes are energy centres, Archetypally charged and bound so tight with emotion, unexpressed complexity and undifferentiated, non-somatically integrated, non-linguistic consciousness.
But what charges are surrounding it and thus, keeping it alive? Also, who is carrying it, and which part of it are they carrying? How is it carried?
How can we shift it from getting stuck on the same-old algorithms, and tracks of re-wounding?
(Imagine a mass of energy, which is running like tendrils or threads through the surface of the Earth, which creates little fruits (mushrooms) sprouting in certain energy feilds, though it lays dormant in others. )
LAYERS OF ENERGY BETWEEN PERSONAL, TRANSPERSONAL AND SOURCE:
There’s a difference between surface equality and deep equality. What I mean by that, is so multi-layered.
On one side, it means paying very special attention to where our activism gets latched onto our pain bodies. (This is spoken about in A New Earth. E.Tolle.)
On the other side, it also means that we cannot just dissapear into totally believing we can operate only within depth/oneness or wholeness, and thus miss out on the value of our surfaces interplaying within dynamics.
Surface does not mean Superficial. Surface means surface, membrane, boundary. Superficial is our judgement onto the surface. Also a permeable or see throug surface is different from an opaque, impenetrable one.
Just because energy is dynamic on the surface of ourselves (emotional energy, transforming quickly through wind-fire-water-earth elements) it does not mean it is flippant, or not any less worthy than the deep undercurrent and root.
Also, what is on the surface, always is connected to a root.
This is about understanding and developing a gaze that can see paradox : context and complicated systems.
So someone who presents as ‘affected’ with emotions on the external layer of their being is not ‘bad’ wrong or neither lacking depth. Energy can bubble on the surface tensions for a reason - for a transpersonal reason which instigates other beings into action. Energy can also bubble on the surface tension when a digestion from inside to outside is made. Energy can also bubble on surface tension when power is needing to come in.
There is a point where that person might not wish to be bubbling with emotional energy on the outside of their being-body. Only they can make the choices to rein in or choose another routing of the energy, only when it is best and suiting for them to do so. (Ie: we do not shame and constrict nor label beings with a dynamic interplay of energy happening on the outside layer of their energy / identity. We dont know exactly what they are tasked with in this lifetime. Maybe they have instigator sparks set to re-ignite something on a community level. )
RE - TRAUMATISATION:
Many aspects of how our culture in the western euro-centric world deals with the equality complex are re-traumatising each other. This is primarily because we do not have a dialogue for co-carrying emotion. People seem to see the energy that bubbles on identity as disconnected to collective evolution. They easily judge eachother and label what could be invitations to join whole movements and shift great fault lines on our grid as ‘personal trauma’.
The tricky thing is - yes, there IS a lot of personal trauma. Yes we are reacting sometimes, when most deeply triggered, and personally intwined, where we most deeply love, through trauma. But this is not really ever without a context. It is our job to collectively enquire into the context.
After about 10 years of actively healing and researching the wound orbits of where I sit on the grid, I realised there is a difference between ‘My Trauma’ and ‘The Legacy’ of where my fault lines were pointing me, yet in most circles and instances, no matter how much I tried to explain myself - if people had not done their de-centricism work, the same old ownus would be put onto me. My Trauma. Mine to carry. To me this is incredibly patriachial (and abusive at a certain point). Intuitional beings who have done their shadow work and know their core wounds, through trauma healing, cannot be endlessly told that the inequality complex is theirs alone to shoulder. They need to be listened to and the uncomfortable feelings need to be co-felt, through the listening. And ultimately changes needs to happen.
For me the conversation is about who is actively showing up as responsible to carry the collective emotion.
I am ready for a new awareness about honouring that as a service that has been made for us, especially by indigenous cultures, BIPOC women, Mother Energy, Grandmothers and anyone otherised through their receptive energy - ie: LGBTQIA+ folk.
What has their empathy been carrying for the collective? Have we been demonising that as ‘unspiritual’ due to remnants of organised patriarchal religion and colonial structures? Or have we been opening up into spaces for discussion and support?
This article is a call for everyone:
To take on the co-carrying The Sacred Rage that is channelling through the Dark Feminine in this era.
This blog post is about ALLYSHIP as a verb,
Sy*starhood* as a verb.
(Cyberfeminist Homecoming soul-STAR)
Being able to speak up for the Dark Goddess’ needs of recognition and safety.
I went to a Black Lives Matter protest a couple of years ago and had made a couple of signs, in Black Red and Yellow with hand prints of my own hands and the word; “RAGE” written in bold letters.
My intention was to honour the truth and power of Rage, and give a container for that feeling to exist and be seen... Hold a vessel in the Indigenous Australian colours, and for it to be Witnessed.
WHY ISN’T THE RAGE OURS?
A close friend was carrying one of the signs for a short stint. He realised that he didn’t feel comfortable carrying the sign. He gave it back to me explaining, "it’s not a good look".
He is a white AMAB cis-male, of european descent.... & I believe perhaps felt this way out of wanting to give respect and not co-opt. To honour rightful boundaries. The rage wasn’t “his”. I respect that and respect boundaries.
But, why wasn’t The Rage “his”?
Maybe it was his too, and he just was not allowed to express it.
Why wasn’t he able/allowed to stand alongside me and feel the same emotions of injustice? Was it because if he did, he would need to change his whole life? Was he too complicit in the white-system, or having a career and hopes and dreams within a white-supreme constructed world, to not be able to show up here? Or was it the judgement from the other side, that if he allowed himself to own this rage/grief, to embrace this rage/grief, to cradle it and nuture it, that someone who trully owned the rage/grief, would come and say ‘how dare you’? I would have thought they might rather say ‘thank you’.
How can we respectfully cradle and nurture collective rage better?
I do not have an answer for you here for this.
(Actually, this image might be an answer!
And what did that mean for me, then standing alone with my poster and carrying it alone?
How many times have we had to stand alone with our Rage? To express it alone, to bystanders who mean to distance themselves from disrepect and fasle identification but do so through distancing themselves from their capacity of feeling.
At the point of rage and grief, from my experinces, the need and value of active allyship is always going to be more important than any perspective of ‘respectful distancing’.
HOW IS RECEPTIVE INTUITIONAL ENERGY, FIGHTING FOR THEIR EMOTIONAL BODY RIGHTS, SEEN?
As usual I am writing about gaze. Because the gaze can either hold or totally avoid to recognise (hold) and then fragment (abandon).
A Gaze which carries pathology-perspective from a place of hyper-individualism and scapegoat-psychology (narcsisstic function, (xenophobic/separatist), polarised into non-feeling) could be transferring the message that someone carrying The Rage/Grief of the inequality complex is:
“BAD, WRONG DEFECT”
The assumptions are that victimhood is ‘bad’ is carried over to ‘opression’. The mistake is seeing being “stuck in victimhood’ as ‘being stuck oppressed’ and terribly shameful. So how can one live as an oppressed person and not be able to hold that victimisation in all seriousness?
In BIPOC CPTSD Healing book, The Pain We Carry Natalie Y. Gutiérrez, check ‘The Weaponised Self’.
The gaze coming onto us might be labelleing us as agresssive, brringing ‘fight energy’, or projecting onto us that we are ‘self-involved’. Perhaps different healing modalities expect the model participant to be totally aligned with the world - totally in acceptance of the systems we live in - to be considered ‘healthy’. This might be fine for those with privelidges but what if the systems we live in are a constant struggle? Dont we have a right to be a part of making them better?
In the questioning:
Why are we bringing everyone else (who is just trying to enjoy their lives and is assumably unaffected or less personally triggered by this In-Equality Complex) into having to acknowledge hard feelings?
At best this voice expresses boundaries, at worst - This is the voice of denial of co-sharing reality.
Offspring of pathology-gazes run though white-centralising-spirituality. Perhaps they might be seeing it as:
A negative spiritual intrusion which was causing someone to feel The Rage - And that person is a war-bringer. There is a projection again upon the changemaker as being identified with the problem.
What I would like to suggest and emphasise is the Intra-Psychic connections. The mycellium, again. The fact that the veins and body of this energy, bound up in The Equality Complex, is not belonging only to certain identities.
Each of us are picking up on a collective psychic architecture, at different points. It is flowing through the shadowy-layers of our realities, and the fact that some of us feel it and have taken responsibility for it is because we either lived the experiences ourselves, and/or deeply-
identify with the lived experiences, of ‘the other’ who suffers.
At the point of identifying with the lived experinces of The Equality Complex, we choose to co-carry collective emotion because we realise our Liberation is entwined.
It becomes more important to show up as an active ally, than to allow the challenges (discriminations that we now share, when allyship is actively chosen) that show up on the path to doing that to get in the way.
So all this emotion - the standing alone with the rage/greif -
and all the collective underlying avoidance of rage (which are shame projections), that highly empathic souls have been a sponge to and un-beknowingly taking ‘responsibility’ for...
How do we go about re-routing the energy, giving the responsibility back or co-sharing?
The hard thing here is that when we discuss New-Masculinity, we see also an energy which has had centuries also without appropriate stories, nurturance and suffering the inequality complex from a place of being disallowed emotional expression. That’s a whole other story which I won’t get into here. We are here to at least dicuss what we can do to shift some of the emotions around!
THE EMPATHIC-LEADERS RESPONSE TO SOMEONE NOT BEING ABLE TO CARRY OUR COLLECTIVE EMOTION:
Back to the story of the “Rage” sign and having to carry it alone.
When my friend expressed where he was at, and gave back the sign, There was a moment where he ‘asked’ with his energy body to be witnessed and recognised in his feelings. His energy asked for my “agreement", my recognition.
This was a split second moment, where my emotional vessel, auto-mirrored his feeling-body & where he was at, through my empathy.
This is related to the saying that other people cannot witness an emotion within us, to which they have not themselves allowed themselves to feel. And this is actually the strength about Empathic Leadership. We have witnessing power, because we can empathise, and generally understand a lived experience of how different sensorial states feel.
In that split second - I extended out my Inner Mother Energy and took care of his feelings, distancing and weariness about carrying The Rage.
But see the limit. When you realise that you are the one extending and being asked to consider others all the time - if you are being asked to recognise the others painbody and position, if you are the one empathising and reflecting back. Please, start seeing this as your Power and a craft in and of itself.
UNDERSTANDING WHERE EACH ARE AT WITHIN THE PROCESS OF THE INEQUALITY COMPLEX
In the era of cancel culture it is really scary and takes a lot to actually stand for something fully, publicly - we also have different ideas of what constitutes standing fully, AND we need to overcome the fear of being called out, the fear of being wrong and making mistakes, while doing it.
The imposter syndrome comes from a conditional gate-keeping culture who seems to hold many people back from immersing in the game of life fully. I understand how hard it is.
I don’t know if press would have taken a picture and twisted the narrative to read “Look at this white boy carrying a RAGE sign, how inappropriate”. [But I am guessing if he had cradled the rage in his bossom with compassion, and walked along side me, no such picture would have been possible.]
Everyone’s comfort zone and how they choose to show up for the world - and how deeply they go into immersion, is their personal choice.
So… Was the intensity of this Sacred Rage, a lonely "load"? What did it mean that I was also placating the feelings of others who were not primed, ready or really able to own this emotional matter? (For whichever reason?)
The Rage did not fully belong to him, because he was afraid to own it. It’s interesting this topic of ‘Ownership’. What we inherit.
Some of us inherit the Rage and the Grief and some of us inherit the distance from the Rage and the Grief, and then the fear of it.
The Rage, even if not “his” or originating from him, it belong to him because it was not cultured in.
But the Rage was not originating from me either, yet I had a cultured belonging to it…
The difference in our identities [that are pre-chosen by our energy as it emerges, through source] & level of integration with collective intersectional feeling states, meant meant we could not stand together. So on one hand - our souls ‘chose’ our constellations within this dynamic.
But because it is so difficult to carry this Rage - instead it was avoided by anyone not assigned to it, through direct ancestry or lived experiences.
WHAT WAS NEEDED:
What I needed in that moment, instead of getting uncomfortanbly bypassed, smoothed over and my rage handed back to me - by folks who were not ready to help carry that load because of how it might look or be construed from the outside, was more dialogue about active allyship. Friends need to get curious. Perhaps a better entry into standing with us would have been the energy of PLAY.
But how can Rage, Play and Curiosity go together in the same way, authentically? And also, who needs to create the pathway between?
The collective rage is threatening to obliterate us when it gets activated at full force.
Trust is one of the baselines here.
Fierce Melanin Magic - the intensity of feelings for someone who has been carrying rage and grief their whole lives - the rage and grief of ancestral experinces of slavery, of discrimination, of violence and of fragility - these are feirce and untamed forces of collective grief.
And they must be so strong in order to challenge our white perception of idealism and safety.
White fragility, will be painful. Masculine fragility of the old power falling, will be painful. That fragility has it’s own right to also hurt - feel disgusting, shameful, to be publicly exposed. And that is all still OK. How things are ‘to be’, along this fault line leading to The Inequality Complex. (It’s all ‘OK’ in the destruction and the scramble.)
FEICE POWER IS A POSITIVE FORCE
Instead of listening and being open to Feirce Power of the Inequality complex, those who hold the fault line locations (Big game-changer locations) are often scapegoated as having ‘issues’ by a colonial-spirit-culture. Especially women.
Fierce power, is a positive too. It does not have to be cute and nice. And peace is not always about fitting in. Peace is also about speaking up.
Acknowlegding shared ownership for the collective Sacred Rage, as a role that we are fulfilling *for the collective* could be thanked, rather than demonised.
I must look at this delicate situation as a pathway - a ‘destiny to integrate new power’, new depths, new space within.
HOW THIS IS WORKING WITH ENERGETIC CORDS:
What this moment meant for me, energetically was:
My mirroring of where people “half-way” met me, was an empathy cord, extending out. These empathy cords were coming out of me and into the world, to mirror and validate and support all of the experiences of others and to validate all the other realities, and “cushion them”.
Unfortunately because the intersectionality of my own experience and my reality was not being mirrored back - these cords were syphoning my vital energy and it was putting me “to work”, as a healer - constantly.
I was Dark Mothering, healing and supporting, at a much deeper level of knowing and empathy - through an invisible aspect of relationship’s shadow.
It was a
‘one-way’ witnessing cord, in that moment.
The tricky part of this is realising that the ‘One Way’ witnessing cord was mostly always one way.
I realised how conditional this connection was, based on my ability to supply Mothering Energy. And how part of me (play and rest) had been getting denied a reality of existence. My inner Dark Feminine could not rest and be a Queen in her Queendom here.
How are we really recognising intersectionality with energy work?
This is the weird gap of cognition, between the inequality-complex and astral body energy work.
Because many people who chose spirituality start to seemingly consider deep dark emotions and earth magic (complicated, messy, emotionally bloody, womb-like) as ‘less than’ the need to be “peaceful”, non attached, an island - “good” / complicent...
How are we really recognising intersectionality with energy work?
Where is the flow between individual and collective?
Where’s the nuanced discussion?
Where’s the shadow work?
Would I ever be able to be my brown-girl-magic-self, fully, in a situation that did not have people around me who were ready to identify to owning that Sacred Rage and Grief as their own?…
How could I be held fully, in those situations? That’s why the Dark Mother Earth is the ultimate healer and holder of all witness. That’s why the real place for asking your Sacred Rage to be carried is Mother Earth.
Dark Goddess energy - Black Tao Womb energy - The true Incubative Dark Grids and World-Soul - cannot rest in the energetic cords of a culture where there is a lack of depth going on - where touching into Sacred Rage and Grief is taboo, and has not been happening.
Me witnessing and actively understanding the situation of my friend, unconsciously was bypassing something really deeply, in myself that needed witness.
~ The Black Tao Grid ~ [ World Soul ] ~
THE GRID IS THE SOUL OF REALITY
THE GRID IS ANIMATED
THE GRID HAS A PATHOLOGY
AT THE MOMENT WE ARE EVOLVING INTO THE INCUBATIVE DARK GRID, AND WITH THAT COMES SHADOW MATERIAL FROM THE DARK INTO THE LIGHT.
Because of the fear-guilt-shame of cancel culture we are seeing the scapegoat complex coming out loud and clear.
Getting stuck in that bubble of fear towards cancel culture is understandable, but it is only a middle way - real Allies need to be healing at a much deeper level - releasing the striving to perfectionism by making mistakes and being willing to put trust and friendship of the people closest to us ahead of the call-out of the modern-machine/scapegoat system.
THE EMPATHS DYNAMIC OF TAKING COLLECTIVE RESPONSIBILITY FOR INTERSECTIONAL SHADOW:
If you are an empath you are likely to be the one with cords of witnessing and understanding capacity coming out from your field.
It is very likely that most of them are attached into places where the same amount of empathy you give out is not coming back. (Sorry, to say. It’s just a natural situation in our world at the moment.)
These are the energetic cords syphoning off empathy or the witnessing power of the Dark Feminine, [YIN] which are not necessarily directed back into topping her up again.
Intersectional Empaths are conditioned to bypass our own depth and need for support.
There is not an equal exchange happening inside the cords of attention - it’s more of a ‘dumping’.
The stop-gap we meet in others, is because many people have not delved deep enough within feeling bodies to actually unlock Her lived experiences.
SACRED RAGE, GRIEF and COURAGE
When others have not grieved, their identities are not flexible enough or integrated into understanding and trusting Her pain.
We cannot stand for Her if our identities or how we are aware to being perceived from the outside, stops us.
The empath’s experience is one of taking responsibility for collective emotion.
We feel everything deeply so we own everything deeply.
There’s a point where we will need to accept and live with this as a beautiful power.
However how that works in relationship - it needs to be conscious, chosen!
We do our best to carry, understand & validate where each person is at with extending out our empathy, but at the deepest point in The Valley of the grid, if there is a one-way collective witnessing cord hanging around here, deep in our empathic intuition is The Experience of the Dark Mother being syphoned.
Having people around us who can not carry what we are experiencing is an illuminating moment and often devastating when it comes out of the unconscious and into new awareness.
This is why we RE-ROUTE, our energetic cords.
We re-route these energy cords out of supporting the inner wounds of others and we plug the cords into where we need the energy the most in our own fields. Where is the attention and focus going? (Where do we seek affirmation and love?)