SELF - FORGIVENESS
BROKEN CIRCLE ERA.
~ SYSTEMIC COLLECTIVE SHADOW ~
~ CULTURES OF EGO-FUSION & NARCISSTISTIC PREOCCUPATION ~
~ CAUSING EMOTIONAL DISSCONNECTION & PSYCHIC-NEGLECT ~
FREE OUR OWN EMPATHY
INTO LIGHT BODIES
AND OUT OF
WITH THE EXTRACTIVIST PSYCHE
This long-read article [10 mins] is specifically for the truth-seeker, empath, star-seed, hyper-senser, the spirited, the altruistic and the collective-soul-driven,
who are doing the inner healing work in evolving their own psyche out of systems of deep dysfunction and trauma.
As we become aware of the systemic nature of all collective consciousness, we need to release ourselves from the same old cycles of karmic-reciprocity.
Will we be able to learn the lessons we need to learn in this lifetime with ease, and keep reaching into the higher plains?
Or will we get caught in the scrum - forever sorting through inventories of action and in-action?
Forgiveness of ourselves and deeply loving our inner most-hurt parts, is our way to personal freedom.
When we heal and make shadow work, we are awakening into seeing much more widely and clearly into ancestral trauma as intergenerational curses*, that have been hanging over our heads and covering our hearts.
*[More about why and how these are intergenerational curses, later.]
The question of whether of not we ‘need’ to learn certain lessons in order to be who we are becoming, is a question for outside life and death.
Is Karma something to feel burdened by?
Depends on our perspective to encountering resistance.
Healing comes with a self-inventory of recognising our own susceptibility, we recognise the open charges on our own protons/electrons, which have somehow been susceptible to violence.
This does not mean we were “owed” those experiences or we are “to blame” for those experiences.
It needs to be said that with Karma we are talking about cycles that extend outside of this lifetime and into death - before and afterlife - so it is not something any human has enough perspective on to accurately answer. But we do have a lot of spiritual wisdom to reference from great thinkers and spiritualists.
Asha Nayaswami, [Asha is a lifelong disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda. She studied and worked closely with his direct disciple, Swami Kriyananda for 45 years], speaks of reincarnation as a re-learning cycle.
This aligns with:
The teachings of Dolores Cannon - Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique - which deals with healing and receiving wisdom from outside of this lifetime, so past lives and future lives
The “Daimon” or acorn theory of J.Hillman, and the alignment of the concept of initiation from all Shamanic practices - as a seed within us that seeks to be set alight.
Karma stems so far outside of our comprehension of cause and effect.
Karma describes us a re-incarnating to learn specific lessons, lessons to which we already have the potential of overcoming within us.
We already have the potential of overcoming these lessons as it is said that a souls mission is to ‘level up’ always seeking an expansion.
This is the important point - These ancestral curses show up when someone actually has the potential space in consciousness to deal with them - to transmute them. If we are making sure we stay connected to the tools of transformation, when we encounter violence or learn heard lessons in our lives again - these can always be an offering of an awakening for us.
Karmic lessons are attached to what triggers us, also.
The biggest triggers are cosmicly connected and connected to ancient lines of ancestry and the infinite.
The trigger itself is always an opportunity to learn a lesson to go deeper into acceptance, surrender, deep self worth and value and ultimately: freedom.
AFTER A BETRAYAL
OR ABANDONMENT :
It is an important part of evolution and expansion to self-enquire what our place within the unconscious past actually was… What were we doing there?
Especially for truth seekers who search to deeply to understand, and for the empathic elements within us, who ultimately wish on a deep human level of the heart - to make educated moves in the altruistic direction of our highest good, the highest good of those around us, and our world’s highest good.
That is what the empathic element within us, wants. To do GOOD and to connect to LOVE.
On the highest form.
So, why did our particular energy become incarnated into this exact situation?
That’s what shadow work is, isn’t it - to work out our part, to clear and untangle why we are a match to what strange life situation has come towards us.
But the deeper we go, we only realise more and more - even in the worst betrayals and dysfunctional groups - the entire system is the issue.
The entire system is dysfunctional.
Our parents and grandparents most likely did not have the emotional support, dialogues or digestion and holding techniques which we can see we so desperately need now, either.
Each person is caught in the same trap. Each person has been bullied, shamed, unsupported, victimised, under violence or war, not attuned to. Many of our ancestors and family members migrated to new countries in order to be able to offer us better lives and had to reintegrate into totally new cultures with shockingly abusive system dynamics.
This is not an excuse or a waiver about how anyone has treated you or another being.
Of course people always choose their own actions and are responsible for perpetuating violence and unconsiousness when they choose hate and fear, over love.
How people react to us, is their own.
But... if we are talking about prior generations [and pre-internet times], the level of consciousness and the systemic situation, literally did not permit much more.
How to heal our own victimisation, then, when we awaken to entire systems of victimisation?
SYSTEMS OF EMOTIONAL-NEGLECT:
Our whole cultural avoidance of wounds, and avoidance towards feeling hard emotions, means we live within an era of emotional neglect.
If an entire culture is not ready to feel the deep emotional content which is being presented and offered to them to feel, there will be control mechanisms in place to help the avoidance stay in function.
This is an entire system operating on traumatic relationship bondings -
Anxious and avoidant attachment patterns, where we are constantly darting away from holding deep emotion, is a system operating on a narcissistic-function.
This is our extractivist psyche.
It can be irreversibly confusing to try to ‘figure out’ the narcissistic systems and actually pinpoint the extractivist within psychic space. Because mostly it operates in blindspots - the smoothed over, the unconscious, and it slides under the radar in denial.
It is usually very fast.
[By slowing down we can better catch it.]
Many of us will pick up on something being not quite right but not be able to pin point where exactly the issue is. Where the gas-lighting was. Where the preference was not given to our voices. Where care and witness and holding spaces were not safe for our bodies.
We go out into the world, and find the same systems - over and over again - in the workplace, in every industry...
The slowing down that we drastically need is coming through states of depression and burn out.
There is so much value in Depression and Burn Out. It is a reballancing.
We are awakening into our collective state of self-serving avoidance of pain.
In these contorted systems -
Competition, control and scarcity rules the game.
GO DEEPER AGAIN INTO THE INVISIBILITY WOUND:
Deeper again - what is passing through each individual is a complex mixture of varying energies and spiritual matter, hugely unconscious, and operating through traumatic encoding which is nuanced and specific to each person.
We are channels - humans are gateways - and if we are not careful we perpetuate negative forces that are self-serving and not “ultimately giving” into everything we touch and into every energetic signature emanating from our beings.
There is a spirit entity passing through our collective, which is actually the cause of avoidance and short sightedness.
And the ‘cover’ over this spirit entity’s passage, is a realm of trauma - a sharp uncomfortable psychic space which is full of confusion, fear, guilt, shame.
This entity that is curse-like - is keeping us fused to unconsciousness - getting our unconscious needs met, without awareness of how our actions effect one another.
Of course it is the sensitive parts and sensitive people of our collective story that end up being bypassed!
And it is the humans who have not been given the central proximity to the cultural story who are bypassed!
The highly sensitive, or those who are awoken, in the most ‘dry’ or extractive psychic spaces can be barely tolerated.
The sensitive parts of our souls who give the most holding space for the emotions of others are overloaded.
They get loaded onto, with all the heavy feelings that no-one else can process.
The holding space is bypassed, consumed, gobbled up, stolen…
And that is when we get ‘the scapegoats’ showing signs of collective sickness, and when sensitivity gets a bad wrap.
Infact the truth is - the system and the original spirit entity of extraction, within the shadows of our collective psyche, is the root cause of our issue.
SO WHO WAS THE AGGRESSOR? …VICTIM? …SAVIOUR? ... IF THE EXTRACTIVIST IS ALL A COLLECTIVE, ANCESTRAL CURSE?
Who was the real aggressor?
Was it the spiritual entity, or the human?
Wasn’t everyone just trying to get love?
But how could that person have chosen to treat us so badly, in the process?
What is “fair”?
And who was the real victimised?
Here’s a deeper conundrum:
By constellating myself as “the one who needed” : the one who needed the affirmation, the one who was in the position of being victimised…
Was this actually instrumental in giving away my own power, or my autonomy, my choice, my preference?
In which aspects did my boundaries and my self-recognition - or lack of - enable this other being to take over what was really mine?
How was my role, my agency, my destiny, taken and used against me?
Was there something inside of me that benefited from not having to be in control of my own situation?
What role do I have in the future of this?
When I felt my power and autonomy being taken away - my reaction - what was it?
Am I justified to go to war because of that?
How did I protect? In what style did I do it?
What part of me ‘enjoyed’ the resistance - was this the only “opportunity” I had to extend my full force or stretch my power?*
*[This is an important one - We can actively ‘re-wire’ our resistance energy away from getting stuck in boundary protection and into our own DESIRE]
TANGLED AND PROJECTED SHADOWS:
Was it my shadow or was it someone else’s?
Whose shadow is following me and why?
[ Yes, Shadows are shifted onto us by others who do not own their own. ]
This is what creates the scapegoat - We also shift our collective shadow onto homeless people, for example.
This is why I actually feel like thanking the homeless and why I try my best to look people asking me for money on the street, in the eye, without avoidance strategies, buffering my own guilt.
....As we give them our coins we could also say thank you....
Yes it is very hard to look suffering, which we cannot change or help, in the eye and offer it dignity and honour.
WHO TAKES OWNERSHIP, IF NOONE IS TAKING OWNERSHIP?
The people we disclose to about our new found awareness might not be able to comprehend what and where we are at.
So what if we never receive recognition at all, for what we have gone through - or an apology?
If the people who hurt us, and our tribe, or our society, or damaged our earth, will not be able to recognise or hold space for what we went though, does it all fall on us?
Who do I need to take responsibility for, if I can see what is needed?
Is it ‘my role’, just because I can see it?
How can I take responsibility for myself?
I cannot answer those questions for you about your responsibility in actions towards changing our collective narrative.
But I can continue to is to also ask you:
Where does my own joy factor into this? ...or am I going to be suffering forever?
How was the extractivist running and still running through my shadow?
These are such valid questions to be able to find our personal, delicate discernment of the boundaries and responsibility between ourselves and others.
Also these are such important questions to live into truth and to carry what we need to carry from our own stories moving forward, in terms of what we as individuals can and want to take responsibility for, in this life time, relating to our ancestral story.
If we get hung up on this, through guilt - which is actually hiding our compassion and stopping us from experiencing joy -
What is this serving us, long term - to entertain this merry-go-round?
Can we actually do what we came here to do - can we change anything - if we still carry guilt and are laden heavy with all the suffering?
How long do we see ourselves running on this hamster wheel, trying to ‘organise and control’ the beast-machine of the world?
THE UNDERWORLD, A PLACE OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS AND FUSION:
[VERY different place to core-shamanic Lower World]
When we go deeply into the wounds again and again - with our thoughts only, and not with our hearts focused towards ourselves - we can re-wound ourselves - over and over and over.
In my experience this is effectively: HELL.
…HELL IS A REALM IN THE TRAUMATISED MIND…
To have our minds constantly running through how the game of karmic-justice works and trying to sort out ‘justice’ is not possible.
This kind of justice is not a human role - its a role of spirit and karma.
Humans only go round and round and round, chewing through hell.
I dreamt of The Underworld.
I dreamt about it as a huge cinema, always with movies playing.
It began an empty place, where I would sit alone or with my father, but over the years it got more populated - and the seating area became full of people.
After some years, the entire world of humans was there - fused, tangled, burning into one another.
... It was the marketplace of fusion to stories...
There was no consciousness or awareness there other than short-sighted karmic knots.
There was no discerning where one person began and another ended…
It was not a comfortable place for me in my dreams at all.
It was a place of enlightenment, in the sense that I worked through a lot of shadows there, but it was not the place where I would ever find freedom.
Eventually - The dreams produced some stairs that I hovered around for about a year. Eventually I could climb, to get out and send different parts of myself up and down the stairs.
Sometimes the downstairs cinema was a rave - a beating dancefloor - pumping with flesh and blood and sweat.
I started to climb out and found other levels - water worlds - which were worlds of open spaces, psychic solitude, peace and freedom.
When a highly sensitive empathic creature is healing from severely dysfunctional or narcissistic systems and making shadow work - this is where we can get stuck.
In The Underworld of tit-for-tat karmic reciprocity.
Especially with the spirituality resonance narrative that we are “a match” to everything that is coming our way.
This is helpful in order to instigate what is running our dreaming-cinema.
But we beat ourselves up.
But we beat ourselves up.
But we beat ourselves up.
That is suffering endlessly thinking that our suffering is going to turn the situation around.
Suffering only makes more suffering.
Suffering + Suffering does not equal LOVE.
Only Love = Love.
Imbalances within our own energy - power overloaded in certain parts of our personalities or within certain aspects of ourselves [ fixations, complexes, deep inset beliefs ] do as much havoc on the inside of us as the original event did.
Projections into the outside world, keep inside effects going on for years.
We ultimately want to elevate ourselves out of there altogether!
I learnt that actually in order to do my work and to allow my work to fourish I needed more psychic solitude, and psychic space.
We came here for heaven on earth!
AT WHICH POINT DOES MY LIFE BECOME MY OWN:
If you are reading this far, then I would like to say - NOW’s the time to grasp the Freedom of walking up the stairs into spacious self-witness bliss.
If we are reflecting and making healing work, showing up to hold the feelings of fear, guilt and shame, we are always travelling from a unconscious state to a higher consciousness state - a place of greater awareness, deeper perception, and greater capacity to hold emotional experiences.
It is only us who can decide that we have learnt the lesson we needed to learn.
It is only ourselves who can allow ourselves to be free.
When we get to this point, which might bring up the topic of how to forgive others -
We need to
FORGIVE OURSELVES, FIRST.
Forgiveness of anyone else can come later, by the time you realise that you simply don’t need to hold onto any more suffering in your body. We free ourselves by forgiving ourselves.
FORGIVENESS AND FREEDOM:
Freedom is not something that just happens one day out of the blue.
Like everything else, it is a process.
A back and forth, wobbly process.
“FORGIVENESS IS ABOUT WITHDRAWING OUR ATTENTION TO WHATEVER IS KEEPING US IN THE PAST”.
In order to find forgiveness we first make a decision to:
Stop beating ourselves up. Full Stop.
Stop getting pulled into resistance as a ego enjoyment.
We instead enquire into resistance and suffering as new wisdom and we welcome it.
We understand 100% that we did not know then what we know now.
And we did our best then, too.
Forgiveness of the unconsciousness of the past
Forgiveness of the victim-aggressor narratives
Forgiveness of all strivings for control and perfection
Forgiveness of the shame and heaviness
Forgiveness of the fear
Release yourself immediately from what is binding you into this dramatic re wounding.
“ When I release the culprit of
I release myself
into freedom ”
* The real culprit is our state of unconsciousness. *
SELF LOVE IN ORDER TO FORGIVE & RELEASE -
WHERE I AM HURTING,
IS WHERE I AM UNLOVED:
“Paradise is not a place. It is a condition of the heart”. - Jaiya John, Fragrance After Rain
“Your own Love heals you” - Jaiya John, Fragrance After Rain
The cause of our pain and any continued cause of our unconscious behaviour that hurts others always comes from a place which is unloved and seeking protection.
Beating ourselves us is only a waste of time and precious energy.
Instead of repenting, repenting and repenting, which keeps us in a place of unworthiness - We need to be loving loving loving - ourselves.
We need to be allowing ourselves to receive love and to BE love.
The most important aspect of our healing - at a very deep level - is the agreement that we will and are receiving love, no matter what.
Love is Life itself and it flows to you and within you as gravity does.
Of course some people will not choose to integrate the level of unconsciousness they are dealing with in this lifetime, either due to trauma, lack of resources or perhaps they have another perspective entirely. Maybe we only have half of the facts? Maybe your perspective is not even correct.
If you are reading this far into this [rambling] long article - I am quite sure you are not willing to let that be you.
WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO RECEIVE LOVE, THROUGH BEAUTY:
“In prayer, I simply allow myself to be Loved.”
- Teresa of Avila