ON THIS RACIALLY
PROGRAMMED,
FASCIST MOMENT OF
SUBJECTED DESIRE

THE SOCIETAL BREAKDOWN WE NEED:
NAMING POWER-OVER GOVERNANCE SYSTEMS, LAND DISSPOSSESSON,
CHRONIC MELTDOWN, ‘TERRORIST’ CHARGES FOR ACTIVISTS
& WHAT A SPIRITUALISTS ROLE IS: PLANETARY VISIONING.

Personal Message From The Praxis
Berlin, 10.7.26 - 5.08.26

︎︎︎

Watching, being impacted by & implicated within blatant fascism at the moment, I found value in learning about Dagmar Herzog’s work on ‘sexy racism’ and the underlying dynamics of eugenics.
Check her book: ‘The New Fascist Body’.

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As Dagmar explains in this video:
Racism and Fascism: A Love Story | "Humanities for Humans" discussion series (embedded below) - which is an important discussion about race and fascist power, Featuring Professor Michael Hanchard who proposes the title ‘Racism and Fascism: A Love Story’ for his research — fascism can be understood as a radicalization of colonial drives. It stokes the fantasy of a group, mixing sexual drive, aggression, and a desire to be superior. Racial rule is a precursor to fascism.



Two more videos, The Question of Unworthy Life: Eugenics & Germany’s 20th Century with Dr. Dagmar Herzog #podcast



and Sexy Rassismus: Dagmar Herzog zur Körperpolitik der AfD - In german language, with captions in your language of choice.




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So if the fascism is well and truly here in the room with us, as we all saw as the ‘remigration’ bill was passed, (do check, exactly where that word comes from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remigration) the racism (and classism, ableism, and heteronormativism) are all precursors, enabling fascism to exist.

From where I am sitting, a white German/European majority is making not enough depth recognition and inner work of these ‘enabling infection paradigms' within the shared consciousness, which are allowing fascism to unabashedly expose itself, as we can see in the political representation we have in Germany in 2026.


I feel that young individuals are starting to want to reckon with their Ancestral Trauma and begin to ask the questions about identity, culture, and start to look in the direction of repair and reparation, (to which I am available for sessions with exactly this), but this is still an exeption amongst a general public, let alone something occuring amongst the under 30.

ENABLING INFECTION PARADIGMS: THE ISMS

I call these ‘enabling infection paradigms’ because I envision these like pockets of held belief systems (an entangled web of associations surrounding a complex core) in the blind spots of collective shadow, sitting on the side of the tongue as a taboo fetish, which dictate and run programs of everything else.


These programs permeate the relational infrastructures that flow through all beings. Rendering every clear water opaque and mixed up with toxic influence, each of us naturally has to somersault around it in order to live. (makes me remember Astrida Gundega Neimanis’’; ‘How to think (as) a body of water. Where she poses the question: How many emotional somersaults must I do, to stay in this relation?’ in ‘Bodies of Water: Posthuman Feminist Phenomenology’).


After meeting a few of European UN officials at a conference a few years ago (where I was representing female:pressure), I was shocked at how out of touch with the reality of the ‘on scene work’ they were - through their class-comforts. Now as I watch how majority of german politicians are navigating this time and who they are speaking for and with (and who they are not speaking for and with)… I think the first thing white cis het bodies in European power could do—asap, and especially women —is stop psychically assuming, through gaze-blindspot, and emotional-responsibility-loading, any right to govern opinion over Black, Brown, neuromultiple, or gender nonconforming folks' psyches. Especially in not assuming the systems, (healthcare, social, lawmaking, justice, employment, migration and culture) we have in place are supportive enough. (actually, in quite a lot of cases they are not supportive at all)

All of us are somersaulting around the dominant programs. Naturally the more we deviate from being exactly as plastic as the system is, the psyche has tricks and neuroses in order to cope. Workarounds. We have work-arounds that are refusals in one direction and queernesses in another — and who's to say that is not an ultimate template of what health is?

Perhaps some neurosis are more dangerous than others, based on how hidden and how much power the neurosis has over the recognition of (vulnerable) others? I do beleive - the collectively hidden neurosis of the class in power, within a power-over system, is where our healers’ focus needs to be.

We need to stop serving the oppressor perspective. We need to serve the perspective of the oppressed.

NARCISSISTIC MECHANISMS IN PSYCHE: AN INABILITY TO FEEL ALL THE WAY THROUGH

I am also currently reading: ‘The Inability To Mourn’, (A. and M. Mitscherlich). A psychic coping with the situation in Germany after 1945. Which you can read a summary on here on the Psychoanalytic Partners In Confronting Collective Atrocities website.

The main thesis of the Mitscherlich’s was about the German national character: ‘they acknowledged the Germans as having a pronounced tendency to idealize authority figures, thereby regulating their own, weak self-esteem (ibid., p. 79).’

This text pinpoints the differences of melancholia and mourning, ‘Melancholia’ as loss of a relationship to a narcisstic object - something that would have buffered, or boosted the ego.
And ‘Mourning’ the actual empathy of a loss of the life of another being, the mourning process of emotionally empathising with a victim’s pain.

The way a (here, German, but I also beleive this is a shared colonial behaviour) collective cultural identity narcissistically
maneuvers around an avoidance of real holding, recognition, and repair.

This quote especially spoke to me:


As early as 1950, the philosopher Hannah Arendt (1950, p 342) said of the Germans after the war “that being busy is their main defense against reality."

WHAT IS KEEPING YOU SO BUSY?

Unfortunately, when governing systems, institutional bodies, or any groups do not speak up while violence occurs, we know, it makes it even harder for individuals to keep speaking up & not be demonized. And these governmental systems are largely keeping us all way too busy jumping through the hoops of bureaucracy to have adequate time to reflect.


This also explains why there is such a focus on economy and why the economy of a divided two state Germany after the Holocaust bounced back so fast. Folks love to have something to focus on. An ego which does not resource itself from anything other than superficial ‘surface foods’ - the surfaces of relations which it’s own ego can ‘feed’ off - functions much better in society with a ‘job’.

I noticed it myself, when I have a job, my ego has a great time feeling necessary and wanted, I have purpose. Yet, it will tend to avoid to resource itself from Soul, and thus Soul suffers. When I do not have a job, it takes tending (rituals, momentum, consistency, self love, self resourceing from Soul) to not fall into ‘lost-ego’ where the ego-carriage falls in the realms of ‘Dis’-ease. (Dis, being here a loss of direction or twists and turns in direction)


The twist is, that for any of us to exist in these colonial and or fascist societies at the moment means that we have to adapt and end up taking on the narcissistic coping too. I know this from my childhood in narcissistic/colonial systems and the following 20 or so years of having to feel through everything I had experienced, and how it still grounds me today and makes it impossible for me to be in relation in certain ways or collaborate in certain groups - simply due to the fact that they are operating faster than my speed of time, or without contradiction, depth or complexity into looking into shadows. I need to deep-think and internally process; and it is emotional resonance which needs to fully ‘lead me’.


Of course, the violence was always there, always happening to migrating bodies & the bodies of the Global South, to indigenous bodies, to the bodies who were/are forced into slavery, and to the bodies who are most impacted by systems of oppression. As the violence reaches us, we are outraged and traumatized by it. Our bodies or psyches express new limits, as old coping mechanisms no longer work.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN ENTIRE PORTION OF A POPULATION DOES NOT GREIVE?

The overpowered entitled senex energy continues to grab for false power. Within the capitalist world, when capital leads on preference and decision making, democracy cannot function.



This collective wrecking ball of overloarding is now also reaching into previously throught-to-be prívate realms, through surveillance and the use of ai (in germany ai surveillance in policing is now becoming legalised, to the point where bodies in the street will be monitored in their relational behaviours. This means that the inherent culture of bodies is being reduced to binary code, and then policed - and through which lens? No doubt, it will be an unrecognised and yet blatantly white supremist one, which makes way for a fascist agenda to sneak through. Where a bodily movement like dance or self expression does not get registered on the value scale before aggression and threat.


More of us artistic freelancers, including me - since this time last year - are spending unclear, exorbitant amounts of time and energy peddling through the data churn - referring here to the number of people I know who are currently looking for work, or hustling on side-jobs due to our practices being inaccessible for a general population who need us yet, cannot afford us any longer, and the amount of time that is being spent on applications, most of which are in the numbers game, unsuccessful. I recently learned of one cultural position in Berlin that drew over 1,000 applicants. So over 1,000 people labored on that unsuccessful application. As a reflection of what has hot market value, the spam in my spambox is now positioned as recruiters ‘selling me’ job opportunities.


The 1% have their bunkers as escape plans. Hyperindividuality is in the center. Yet hyperindividuality is not aloneness; and neither is is benelovent. It is not only plastic, pent up, cold, dissociated, abandoned, and floating in limbo.

Hyperindividuality within the comforts of capitalist extraction, within this society, is an active form of violent oppression.

Hyperindividuality is a space of no culture. Hyper-individuliaty is the binary code with nothing in between.

Hyper individualality is a pre-cursor, the precog thought, pre-feeling, the state before weaponising abandonment.

WHAT ABOUT THE MAGIC BETWEEN BINARIES? ON WHOLENESS & FRAGMENTATION

Pop-Western science of the last 100 years or so has not centralized the stories and research of quantum relation.

If you look into the HEXEN 5.0 Deck you’ll find many scientific researchers listed in there whose narratives and findings have perhaps not reached your ears and eyes yet. For example David Bohm, a physicist who has been described as one of the most significant theoretical physicists of the 20th century and who contributed unorthodox ideas to quantum theory, neuropsychology and the philosophy of mind. For more than two decades, he engaged in a close collaboration with psychological philosopher J. Krishnamurti.

David Bohm speaks about Wholeness and Fragmentation in this video.



Here he is communicating:
There is something like life and mind, in everything. (Which is quantum physics speaking of a panpsychism or animism.)

He says ‘The issue is fragmentation’. That we think any separation exists. Thought claims to not affect anything, but it affects everything. Thought creates problem, by breaking everything up (fragmenting) and thinking that the problem is ‘out there’. When the issue is within thinking, itself.

He says: ‘Implicate order affects everything. We are the Earth, because our substance is of the Earth. There is no ‘environment’ our there, separate to our bodies and thoughts. To think this way would be like the brain regarding the stomach as part of its ‘environment’.

The desire to compete, is a mistake. We need to look at our whole way of thinking, which has developed through thousands of years. He reminds us to participate for cooperative effort, and have a diagolgue. Instead of the mistake of competition, we need to listen to the views of the other without resistance. Without carrying views out, without suppressing them. To listen.


This is what came up in the recent HEXEN 5.0 collective reading in Munich at Lenbachhaus, with ‘The Challenge on the present moment’ showing up as ‘The Cosmic Number, 137’. There is an expanse of the mythical and infinitely unexplainable, hidden, always, between all binaries.
137 is the odds that an electron will absorb a single photon. 137 appears in Hebrew numerology (gematria) as the sum of the letters for the word Kabbalah. This number is a center of pschological and spiritual synchronicty, it is an unexplained, magic number that governs light and matter.

METABOLISING CHRONIC STRESS: BEING ‘IN’ THE WORLD, BUT NOT ‘OF’ IT.

My personal practices at the moment are about how I can digest transformation at the rate that it needs to be digested. My body metabolism literally cannot keep up.


When the opportunity to read the HEXEN 5.0 Deck in Munich came in, I jumped on it. But that also meant learning 78 cards in two or three weeks, which also took its toll on my body and mental state.

I realised through this process that I was carrying immense stress in my body. 

I realised this due to the horrific PMDD I experienced straight after making this performance, where I experienced something like having no inner container for emotions. It felt like my entire energy body was swinging untethered. I awoke with suicidal ideation, as if coming from absolute nowhere. Due to chronic stress and neurosensitivy, my serotonin was so low that I completely lost the feeling of aliveness. This experience of the past months, and my immediate and emergency focus on care, gave me a renewed load of respect for all folks who live with the impacts of trauma and mental illnesses - anything like what might be called Borderline or Bipolar or Schizophrenia deserves our upmost respect. Because these folks are holding space for and caring for the splits of our society in their intimately personal fields.

What was the stress for? As a precusor, I experience chronic stress as a base level of living in this society, in these governing systems. I beleieve many of us do. 

This particular episode of PMDD, was about the content of my work, however. The stakes have gotten ‘higher’ in the sense of what meant something before, means a whole lot more now - as we watch the genocide continuing, and as I am leaning in to openly discussing a future of onmicide, which is one of the cards in the HEXEN deck, there is a visceral stress on my body.

What if this card comes up, amongst a german public in Munich? How will I navigate it? Also within sacred Ceremony, where I am not only representing myself, but also acting as a channel for the rights of all in participation, to connect to their own Ancestral Wisdom and their own Earth Bodies?

Having my work in close proximity to and immersed in the political space which we are currently in within Germany, and having to stand up through speech, my physicality and my emotions, for what has been an unfathomable unravelling within me in the last three years - as an artist, a single entrepreneurial entity, especially at the forefront of a project which also includes others, perhaps more vulnerable bodies than I, due to their positioning, means that I need to stand up as if I am ‘big business’.

We are solo big business - capitol does not matter. Not for the Spirit realm. Not for our access to Power. The praxis needs to carry weight, so it can hold the refusals needed to protect what needs to be protected. And the refusal is always there. To get the work done, to follow through, takes so much refusal.

In this instance, the refusal was within my body. And delayed, expressing its voice through my moon cycle, completely knocking my mind of course.

From experience and messy queerness, I know that showing up, even if my voice waivers or cracks, even if I am in the wobble, is better than not ever showing up. So we did it.

In July, three months later, I am still recovering. (And by recovering, I mean, I am doing my research and learning my history, so I can be even more prepared for the next HEXEN 5.0 reading in Germany or elsewhere.) 

And that is meant to be ‘ok’. Breaking down - or not being ‘excellent’, for all of us high-functioners* of all kinds - is not the worst thing that can happen; it shows where new wisdom is wanting to come from and its shows us what we need to put more value in. It shows us what is worth protection. It gives you the data of where your refusal is at.

(*And I know that high functioning is not something to rest in, nor position myself as a victim around—because it is a white supremacy/narcissistic ego drive, grabbing, pushing, flowing through me.)

I remember this quote from my therapist, ‘How to be IN the World, But not OF the world.’ I actually feel like attempting to be IN the world, right now, means, being close enough to those who are oppressed to be hit by some of the stones that are thrown at them. (quote from S.Mitchell).

That means a spiritual practice cannot be existing in the realm of ideal only.

THE (NECESSARY) BREAKDOWN: PSYCHIC REBALANCING

The worst thing that could happen, is not the breakdown, it is that we don't breakdown enough to ‘wake up’ from narcissistic relation and ‘use’ into the continual practice of tending to our own psychic balance. I am now writing this all out as part of the tending to psychic balance. I have incubated myself away from the world as I try to edit and form this text.

When we do not tend to our own inner psychic balance, we do not feel, we do not have inner relation, and thus do not get our hearts broken by the world, we do not feel the Earth as our body.

When we do not feel the Earth as our body, we get so sucked into thought-fusion that we are taken over by an internal egoic governing system.

When we do not let the experience of being in this world ‘break our heart’, enough to grieve and tend to the inner dualities and drives within us, we will keep perpetuating violences.

When we allow ourselves to feel the breakdown, when we actually listen to the limit of being and non-being in relation, the limit of existences, to what we have positioned inside of us as ‘ideal’, when we allow ourselves to recognise our most self-disliked desires as human, as a shared part of the human limitation - we remember that this is often our Soul saving us.

What is our Soul saying? Can you hear them whispering?

HOOKS: PROCESSING (OR REFUSING) THE ABUSER’S PARADIGM

For any kind of inner relational life, for any kind of balance, we need to have chances to experience inner distance. Detachment: to be able to expand our viewpoints to the macro, to be able to see how our energy is implicated, and to see where our hooks are. To zoom out of the mind, not avoiding or without critical thinking, but in intentional action. Only in inner distance can we face ourselves (let alone care for ourselves)—when we are able to be multiple on the inside.


One of my mental hooks, which is taking alot of emotional processing recently has been caught up in watching ‘terrorist’ charges come to activists who are fighting for human rights by halting production at the military-industrial hubs.

Trying to emotionally & mentally digest what is actually happening within that relation, trying to understand the logic of the judges in these cases who are passing these sentences, physically hurts my brain. I cannot get my mind to go into their field to attempt to understand the rationality.


This is also the case with abuser-mentalities: as I see the intimidation happening by brainwashed zionist/land-grabbers on Palestinian owned farms, and as I continue to report the fascist/alt right and derogatory comments on instagram that keep popping up surrounding Berlin’s independent news channels, the rationality of this kind of thinking has gone too far into ‘abuser territory’ for me to fathom.

I do not feel so emotionally able to spend any of my time inside these kinds of mental traps anymore, nevertheless, I must learn. Because if we do not learn about our history, about the truth, about what is happening now, we will always be able to be caught by surprise.

We do not want to be able to be caught by surprise!

Through an Indigenous lens, we can understand the people who abuse others and beleive themselves to be superior; as carrying an infection of the mind, body and Soul. The humanity within has been overcome by something else, something Daimonic - a cannibalistic Spirit, which I have also been researching since 2020. We could call it 'Wetiko.'

‘Translated literally, “wetiko” means “cannibal giant.” In Cree and Anishinabek oral traditions, a wetiko is an evil spirit that possesses a person, rendering them monstrous. In traditional wetiko stories, to become wetiko or to “go wendigo” meant to engage in literal cannibalism or to experience cannibalistic ideation. Today, the word “wetiko” is used in Cree and Anishinabek communities to describe a person who does monstrous things to those around them, or in Friedland’s words, who is someone we love who hurts someone we love. The word wetiko may be used to describe a range of anti-social behaviours, including self-harm, threats, sexual violence, murder, and “preying on or using others for one’s own ends.”
- The Wetiko Legal Principles: Cree and Anishinabek Responses to Violence and Victimization, by Hadley Louise Friedland



This has spawned me doing deeper research informing myself of how governing systems bring in the capacity for violence to be enacted out.

GOVERNING SYSTEMS, LAW & WORLD VIEW AS VIOLENCE

Property Legislation Example

During the 1948 NAKBA, a massive demographic shift occurred. Around 700,000 Palestinian Arabs fled or were expelled from their homes, and a provisional Israeli government passed targeted domestic laws to legally transfer ownership to the state:

- The Absentees’ Property Law (1950): This law defined anyone who left their home during the conflict for a hostile territory or another part of Palestine as an "absentee". Their property (homes, farms, and villages) was placed under the control of a government Custodian, who later transferred it to the state or the Jewish National Fund for Isreali settlement.

- The Land Acquisition Law (1953): This allowed the state to officially expropriate uncultivated, abandoned, or seized lands for "public purposes" and national security, creating a centralized state-owned land regime known as "Israel Lands".

So the ideology is push people out through force, and then make it not only acceptable, but imperitive by law that their land is no longer there for them when it is safe for them to return.

Laws pass what is deemed possible/accessible, and then, the greedy or entitled, or otherwise powerful, do the grabbing, as if given an entitlement from the State - (Senex) - to become henchmen.

I am 100% sure that the colonial Australian government also had these kinds of law around indigenous land. Also in the U.S, in Canada, New Zealand...

I would like to remain able to hold discernment in the spaces where righteousness grabs my rage and sense of injustice. We always need to check our capacity for passing on discrimination.

I am also reading into ‘Aspects of the Jewish question; Zionism and anti-Semitism’ - Magnus, Laurie 1872-1933 published in 1902. Written as a critical analysis of (and in disagreement with) Theodor Herzl, the ‘father’ of Zionism. And further looking into the (re)creation of the German State and the Staatsräson - "reason of state" - Germany’s non-negotiable national principle to the historical responsibility and the security of Israel. (Germany became a unified country in 1871, and re-established as a single sovereign state in 1990.)

 

Our time and attention is spent up due to the systems of governance and worldviews we are living with and inside.


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GOVERNING SYSTEMS & MUTUAL CENSORSHIP
(DO-GOOD, POLICE EACHOTHER)

We all have some wetiko in us due to the systems we live in. Liberalism (neo liberalism) also a dynamic which needs to be aware of the wetiko, especially in the drive to do ‘good’, or protect those we consider are vulnerable.

What is uncomfortable to you in others?

What do you beleive is ‘right’ and how do you go about attempting to keep that ‘between the lines’ in others, in your friends?

When is ‘Protection’ a form Censorship?

Protecting us from something we are assumed to not already know, for our own good?

Do we have a say in that?

What will the vulnerable loose access to, if they speak up for themselves?

If you watched the video(s) above from Dagmar Herzog, within the framework of eugenics, she is mentioning that ‘nothing is inborn’, that mostly our heredity is class-based, and about what resources our lineages have had access to.

Ie: Being differently abled is not something which is passed through genes. It is something that is passed through bodies in our generation codes due to priveldiges, class - the impact of ‘the body of a reality’ onto our Ancestors' bodies. This is the same as trauma. Trauma or neurodiversity is not ‘only genetic’ in the sense that it is also affected fully by environment through our lineages. So again, context matters. It is an inheritance of stressors down lineages. Most of this has to do with planetary position.

INSTEAD OF IDENTITY POLITICS, IT’S TIME TO REFLECT ON ‘PLANETARY POSITION’

So nothing about our psychic situation, about our ailments and tendencies, is purley ‘inborn’.


I ask myself, what about the Acorn theory?
The theory is a psychological concept proposed by James Hillman in his 1996 book The Soul's Code. It suggests that each person carries an innate blueprint or calling—like an acorn holding the design of an oak tree—that guides their destiny.

What about our destiny as organised by the Shadow?

In jungian psychoanalysis, in cosmic order, in karma, in psychospirituality, we also must accept what is coming to us as a teaching, as meant for us, and act accordingly - with either YES or NO. As a precursor to individuation, or in claiming our personal power and leading the life we are built for - This is about doing the best we have with living the life that is within our capacity to live. Dagmar Hezorg’s view on eugenics, that a ‘prime human’ is not inborn through genetics, that there is no such thing as ideal race, and that this white supremacist thinking has itself built our entire medical systems, governance systems, and relational politics, also shaping our intimate relations, shaping how we heal and grow…

Without this perspective of the system we live in and being aware its impact on the personal indvidual psyche, left unchecked, develops not only into fascist thought, but also into modern psychotherapy practices (all of which, in the west, stem from original indigenous and african knowledges or practices) Neo Spiritual teachings develop into this pipeline…

WHAT IS THE WORK OF SPIRITUALISTS THEN?

—as reconcilers between ancient ways and the future-modern world, our goal is to stay focused on the new template, yes. However, I 100% believe the new template is informed, created, grown, through how we recognise and speak up about the present.


Not discussing the political, not communicating and having threads between ethical, moral, beleif systems, and worldview is no way to govern and neither a way to philosophise nor spiritualise - because of the fragmentation that occurs, creates constant negation and othering. We need to be turning into the hollistic, but also letting go of the utopic-hollistic, which can only exist without understanding itself also as holding and owning the chaos, thee destruction and the toxic.


As the systems enter into the disintegration stage, before the new template has fully arrived, the process is that more of us are waking up, hard. More of us are getting in contact with what liberationists & indigenous elders have been articulating all through the 20th century, but this time we are in the digital age, and we all have digitally extended bodies which are now the objects of ‘democracy’, and we are vulnerable in different ways. (Or were bodies *always* this vulnerable? The beginning chapter of Assata Shakur's memoir gives me this impression.)

For those needing a reminder of the space *before the new*, listen to this passage from Rutendo Ngara - the breath at a time of tumultuous entanglements, a time needing rest, a tipping point, a turning, yet the place we speak from cannot be written… we can access this kind of tool: ‘resting-deep time’ as a way to access truth and generate the clarity needed for us to then speak up.