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Acknowledging depth and 


In most of western society there is a taboo about speaking about soul. Even I feel very cautious about using the word publicly.

Speaking of ‘the soul’ can, in many contexts of our lives, activate judgements of ‘over-indulgence’ and ‘over-sensitivity’, as if it would be selfish or narcissistic to acknowledge the presence of a depth within ourselves.

It can feel as if it would be exposing something way too vulnerable within ourselves to acknowledge, or perhaps too big, too messy - that we have connection to something deeper and larger, operating on wild-truth, threatening to expose our true nature, as both animalistic and god-filled beings, simultaneously.

But when we acknowledge a depth within us, we allow others to acknowledge the depth in themselves. This is the only way that acknowledging depth in our society will be reignited.


Imagine what would happen if we allowed the entire human world to take back their allowance to their own soul.

The material aspects of our realities would slow down to a halt, perhaps. The world would be ‘broken open’ with activity on the immaterial plains.

Many people would probably need to make drastic changes. They would not be able to focus on the things which did not matter with 100% certainty. A sea of emotion would come to the surface. We would collectively, out of necessity, begin to learn how to process emotion.


A wise teacher once told me that we fear emotion because we have the impression that it will persist for ever and obliterate us. Too much for the system to bear, if we were to express them. [Yet what was too much, too fast was more likely the orginal traumatic experience first triggering the emotion, not the reoccuring emotional capacity, itself.]

Yes, we fear certain emotions because they are deemed unacceptable by society, too. We fear certain emotions because if we actually looked at them it would mean having to sometimes radically change our identities, our jobs, our relationships [with ourselves and others]. Changing takes hard work!

So we keep things suppressed and pretend to the most important person in our whole universe, our Self (ehem, Soul) that our truth dosen’t really exist.

But the thing is, emotion does not stay in one set form forever. It will only stay in a set from, if we deny it expression and movement. Emotion, by its base energetic form, is transmutable - an evolutionary catalyst!

The main property of emotion which is always there, is change. (And the raw material of emotion is power,  but more on that later.)


If we were to look at evolution. To look at the goal of life itself as being geared towards consciousness evolving, towards growth. We might realise we are actually within a system which is playing on our team, if only we were to let it.

Consciousness evolves through learning and befriending the other. Bridging the divide, forming a magical new understanding, the product of consciousness growth is when a ‘third’ appears - a deepening - which is more than simply the sum of two opposites.

Everything in our system is geared towards life - and abundant life at that. The system does not operate based on human judgement, or societal judgement systems and current trends of our age. The system operates based on energetic resonance and cyclic return, the algorithms that set us into particular patterns are not programmed by the universe, but by us, both collectively and independently. The universe merely runs the entire program and hosts the gigantic interconnected network of multi realities.

Along the pretence that what is given to us in life is all geared towards our greatest evolution, all of the difficult emotion and struggle, all of the ill-fittingness of our puzzles - is all there for a reason: to prepare us for a jump.


A jump is about realising that our own perspective on our situation is severely limited. Mind does not know what is best for us all the time. Our mind knows what is comfortable, and our mind is caught in the past and the future, tied up in expectations, memories, learnt habits, relational dynamics, that have become so engrained that they accidentally became part of our identities, over time.

But where to jump and how? To make a jump, we first need to actually trust that we will land somewhere! [And it will take blind trust eventually, but preparing yourself for a safe journey is important.]

If we can stay with trust and foster it, as much as we trust that one breath will be followed by the next breath, and that a sunset will be followed by a sunrise, then we can begin to trust the reciprocity of the universe and the gearing of the universe towards life.


If we manage to take away judging what comes up each day as “good or bad”, and merely feeling from the perspective of openness and curiosity, managing to welcoming each new part of ourselves or emotion which arrives as a visitor in our psychic-house, we can better discern where each visitor comes from.

And if we manage to separate out the mind’s judgements long enough that we can tell where each visitor comes from, we might also be able to choose which visitors we keep around and which we let go of.

Eventual pathways unravel allowing us to be able to see where to go for greater soul-mind-body connection, to truly live our soul passion.

To begin with welcoming in new visitors, the best way to do this would be to look at your dreams. If dreams are not working, taking a shamanic journey and simply perceiving what is there is also a good way to begin.

If you need info on how to make a shamanic journey, check the Foundation of Shamanic Studies in Europe and the US, as the best place for western minds to learn technique.

More soon + much love,

30th Nov 2020


Spiritual awakenings can and do happen to people in the middle of the concrete jungle.

Initiation does not look have to look a certain way. Initiation looks like challenges.

Westerner spirituality is different because westerners are different. We are of the urban, capitalist, consumerist world. We are in separable, one and the same. And that world is ours to own through using the challenges it brings to us with eyes wide open.

If we neglect our spiritual responsibility, the work overflows to the cultures and peoples who are already carrying the spiritual ‘weight’ of a society impending to extinguish them.

Exotisising spirituality, keeping a certain search for depth practises at arms length, either 'out of respect’ or out of not believing you deserve it, is an act of handing your agency as human co-creator, away.

The biggest support you can give to old ways of wisdom is by understanding, learning and sharing their visions.

Yes - you’re different, you grew up in a different place, and you learnt to ‘see’ a different way.

But its all the same-same-same at some level.

What would happen in our life stories, if we began to realise that all of our challenges, no matter how banal or ‘separate from spirit’ they seem, are an important part of our initiation?

Life is working for us. If you’re always challenged, you are always awakening!

Every dark thing one falls into can be called an initiation. To be initiated into a thing means to go into it. The first step is generally falling into the dark place and usually appears in a dubious or negative form - falling into something or being possessed by something . . . . You can take every psychological illness as an initiation. Even the worst things you fall into are an effort at initiation, for you are in something which belongs to you, and now you must get out of it.
~ Dr Marie-Louise von Franz


28th Nov 2020

Inspired by “Of Water and the Spirit, Ritual, Magic, and Initiation in the Life of an African Shaman” the work of #malidomapatricesomé #ofwaterandthespirit


Resonance Realities 

The mystery of life exists somewhere in the overlap of paradox. (More on that later...)

In the dynamic dance of realities which we play within, consciousness is crashing against itself, overlapping, merging and creating new entities grown from the previously unfathomable.

Everything has two sides. Yin/Yang, light, dark. To have a definition of one state, we need the other, to play its opposite. And to understand the culmination of both, into whole, we have a new third entity. This third entity holds both the characteristics of the two sides, yet is not unnulled or cancelled out by this contrast. It’s materiality remains unfathomable, yet the fact that it ‘is’ remains clear. 

This third can never be experienced outside of its paradoxical nature - that is the experience of the sacred.

In our realities this third, wholeness, or sacred space, might be described as an energetic mass containing all of the paradoxes of opposites.

Shamanic worldview has always beheld the existence of multi-realities.

But there’s a few different ‘playing feilds’ or better described: matrixes which are sustained by varying base resonances or core values.

The base resonance of what is holding each dynamic reality together can be either of expansion or reduction. In other words: love or fear, compassion or condemnation. Each reality has different resonant base energy somewhere on the spectrum between these opposites. (NB: The pure compassionate space in shamanic view, are the Upper Worlds and Lower Worlds of Non Ordinary Reality)

Agreeing on the pretence of multi-realities, we can describe these base resonances by their two most extreme examples: A matrix resonanating on pure LOVE/EXPANSION and a matrix resonating on pure FEAR/REDUCTION.

These are the WIN - WIN or the LOSE - LOSE.


Some call this WIN-WIN the ‘abundance matrix’ (if you want a lot of great background video content on that, check out the work of Amanda Flaker), which is a realm where the entire grid is supported from love. Ultimately if we were resonating in this pain and suffering are seen as part of the process of staying in this matrix, like the bumpers down a bowling alley. WIth instant transformation, pain and fear felt in this matrix are always in aim of working towards our expansion and evolution, not our reduction and de-evolution.


The LOSE-LOSE matrix is one many of us know very well, unfortunately, as it is the one we are most commonly born into, in this world. What’s worse is, mostly we are absoluetly unconscious about it! And that is the biggest issue - Unconsciousness.

Most of our financial systems, school systems, punitive systems, emotional recognition and moral judgement systems are based on this matrix, (as is the Patriachy, and modern christianity of course... the list goes on...)

This is the place where the idealogy that we ‘do not have enough’ for ourselves, a scarcity-mindset, lives. This is where a comparative mindset lives. This is where such judgement systems where there is allowed only one winner, live.

Any system in where one benefits off the suffering or loss of another is rooted in this matrix.

Differences in WIN-WIN or LOSE-LOSE

Differences in the matrixes are about resonance, perspective and return.

In terms of perspective and resonance, a let’s analyse some feelings relevant to the world of 2020: aloneness vs loneliness.

Aloneness. The word itself does not imply the persective of an unmeet need. This imparts in the state of aloneness a base resonance of self-love and a love based relationship with source. Aloneness is an ‘open state’ and is from a dynamic when we are resonating in a love mindset (WIN-WIN).

There is an understanding that aloneness inherently opens up a connectedness to something else, on a deeper level. Whether that be the present moment or source, aloneness does not require being in a state of resistance. There is no energetic grabbing, there is ‘rest’ in aloneness.

Connectedness might be the opposite of aloneness....

More commonly experienced, is the lack-mindset version: LONELINESS.

Loneliness is coming from place of resistance to what is. We suffer about the perspective of being alone. A need is ignited, which is usually about an unmet feeling of being loved. An underlying lack of deeper connection is usually experienced. One cannot be alone when they are lonely.

Loneliness is something from the LOSE-LOSE. And usually is coupled with feeling of a lack of love, a lack of realising we are enough in just 'being', a lack of being connected to the present moment. These are base fears which feed the mass lack-matrix.

If connectedness and aloneness are connected within the WIN-WIN. Then lonliness would be connected with neediness in the LOSE-LOSE.

What is neediness and how is this different from having needs?

Needs are human. We all have needs, for community, for beloning, for family, for food, for sleep, for living our dreams. The list is endless, the healthy needs of sentient beings. 

But neediness out of lonliness or unlove is powered by lack [Lose-Lose] at it’s core. Looking deeper into our needs and what is catalysing them is important to figuing out which matrix resonance they are operating on. Answering loneliness and neediness within the lack-matrix with simply grabbing for the next object outside of ourselves to placate our immediate feeling at the surface level, rather than digging underneath and working on the core-matrix level of inner fear and re-adjusting that towards love, will not eventuate in an achievment of ‘connectedness and aloneness’ within the WIN-WIN.


Whenever we feel resonances that are fear based - it is a indicator that something has triggered our resonance (usually thoughts) to slip into critical, judgemental or lack-based mindsets. These are lightning fast and in the beggining might take a lot of constant awareness to spot.

Feeling activted into loneliness (as opposed to simply ‘alone’) is powerful to acknowledge. Listening to the dynamic play-out in context to what’s going on around us and choosing to answer ourselves ALWAYS with a courageous inner discovery mission, bounded with radical self-compassion will end up supplying us enough flexibility to jump into the WIN-WIN.

This is a way to join the flow of the universe towards abundance, and grow our own intuition.


Ideally for any experincing the loneliness/neediness VS aloneness/connectedness divide, we allow ourselves to move towards oscillating between 'connectedness and aloneness' only. Connecting to nature, art or music (creativity, imagination and the Otherworlds) are some of the fastest ways to transmute the LOSE-LOSE into the WIN-WIN. 

Staying there in the WIN-WIN is deeper work though. The paradoxical nature of the universe, the fact that we are situated within mirrors upon mirrors upon mirrors, means that what we face and embrace, deepens our breadth to sustain more safe immaterial space within.

The more safe immaterial space within ourselves, the more weight we have to support each shift [and the less the projections of other’s can affect us]. Because many times, the LOSE-LOSE, is so entrenched in our systems, that when we try to get out of them, we face resistance from our communities.


The only constant in the multi-grid’s game is change. Upon each opportunity to acknowledge LOSE-LOSE the one process that can instantly support a movement towards WIN-WIN is compassionate and empowered


There is an achievable goal for us all is to vacillate between the two states effortlessly, the more we come to witness when and where we are in the LOSE-LOSE, (whether it be around money, friendship, vocation, family) and can analyse and feel out why, it will be easier to see how to flip into WIN-WIN.

THE RETURN: When magic starts to happen... 

If we do this work, it’s not about if change will happen, it’s about when. And usually things go quite fast once we jolt the algorithm.

The return will come in synchronicities, strange coincidences, opportunities - and more inner space where we feel honest,  safe and witnessed, by ourselves and others.

The more we work (and I do mean work!) on catching lack-mindset consciousness, and shine a non-judgemental light onto the resonances we are holding in place, the faster we will JUMP into the WIN-WIN.

“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it is a feather bed.” 


We will experience a change where it’s not about choosing the least shitty option. It is about choosing the best from the best. When all pathways lead to YES.


More soon + much love,

4th Dec 2020

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